Day 9: How We Win

Today has been a rough go of it, gang. With the high winds and rain beating down on the house all night, my fibromyalgia flared really badly overnight. By the time that I woke up this morning, my back and hips were so sore and pinching with pain that I was not able to climb out of bed until about 2 P.M. It has been a long stretch since it has been this severe. My sweet husband helped me down the stairs between online classes.

Although I did take awhile to get downstairs, I tried to make up for lost time as an influx of stressful emails came in: my health insurance will no longer be covering some of my necessary diabetes supplies, many manufacturers of "elective medical materials" (read, NOT ELECTIVE FOR THE PEOPLE WITH THOSE DISEASES) are being forced to shut down with no revenue, and well, some other generally other distressing stuff for my immediate life.

Thankfully, we are no strangers to danger in this household (now that doesn't sound quite right...) and snapped quickly into gear. While my husband called the suggested helpline to protest the cuts over live-saving supplies for "nonessential patients," I got in touch with my insurance and found an intermediate group that can provide the bare essentials for at least the foreseeable future FOR ALL. I refuse to be expendable. I am also planning to "stock up" as much as possible. For a diabetic, this means we have potentially an extra day of supplies if we choose to not eat any carbohydrates. You see, we are not actually allowed to stock up on diabetes supplies. Apparently insulin is a hot black market item...well, now it might be...

Despite all of this fear, we are refusing to give up. We are choosing to hope. To hold onto all of the good that we are seeing in the world-my pharmacist making sure I get insulin despite regulation cuts, Jimmy Fallon's daughter crashing his at-home celebrity interviews, but most of all...the messages of love, hope, and unbreakable faith that exists between myself and my friends and family. That kind of power is the realest, truest thing that I will ever have in my life and I refuse to take it for granted.

My doctor got back to me after I received really scary results from a separate exploratory procedure from a week and a half ago. The last time I was out in the sunshine, actually. I have been holding my breath since then and keeping the scary "what-ifs" under wraps for the sanity of all the people around me. Things are not nearly as bad as the interpreter of my test results originally wrote, and we now have a going treatment plan. During the conversation with my healthcare provider, we had a conversation that exceeded the regular physician-patient dynamic that I am used to; we connected as two people who are frightened, but choosing to turn towards the light. She told me how frightened she is for me and I reassured her I was taking my quarantine seriously. I told her that I was staying at home so that she would feel safer when she comes home to her family--and she broke down in tears. This is raw, real humanity. Let's continue to take care of each other, friends.

Let's stay at home because our doctors and healthcare professionals and medics don't have the choice to work from home. The generation before us was asked to go to war and fight for us, the least we can do is stay at home to protect everyone now. People are right that your "extrovert friends are not okay" (I am here to say that is true). But neither are your introvert friends. Especially not your high-risk friends. And of course not your friends in medicine. They are the frontline heroes, guys. Let's choose to believe the best in each other, because THAT is how we win. Together.

Now I am headed off to FaceBook/Instagram live to watch comedian Iliza Shlesinger and her husband Noah Galuten do comedy and cooking in an episode of "Don't Panic Pantry" with my best friends on GroupMe.

Because that's already winning, guys. It is. I promise.

Prepare, don't panic.

-Allison